Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
