dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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