porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
