dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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