No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
