So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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