your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize