All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
