I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
