idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She bit a glass in half.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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