Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
