i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
