she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
