Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
