no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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