based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize