So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
