i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
