the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
