blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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