I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
