haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
