So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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