Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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