She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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