chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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