why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize