dude i'm inner monologue high
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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