dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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