No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
