My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize