can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
People in love make me want to vomit
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
