Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
