Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
