why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
