All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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