well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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