Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
