they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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