My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.