Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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  (647): Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom http://tfl.nu/rkiv
  Replies (38) Good night (4755) Bad night (965)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

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  (630): I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer? http://tfl.nu/yj7n
  Replies (26) Good night (4636) Bad night (829)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (28194) Bad night (3406)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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  (425): Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange. http://tfl.nu/6ccw
  Replies (19) Good night (1357) Bad night (5550)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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  (+44): You are the patron saint of my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/rquk
  Replies (10) Good night (4292) Bad night (1071)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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  (330): Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls http://tfl.nu/m4sw
  Replies (22) Good night (872) Bad night (3907)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

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  (804): Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick. http://tfl.nu/rxn3
  Replies (17) Good night (4419) Bad night (1034)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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  (508): i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now http://tfl.nu/g57m
  Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (1497)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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  (801): It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me. http://tfl.nu/14do
  Replies (5) Good night (1747) Bad night (893)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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  (419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq
  Replies (9) Good night (2756) Bad night (1384)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.

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  (406): He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame. http://tfl.nu/fkng
  Replies (8) Good night (661) Bad night (1181)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.

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  (313): Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye. http://tfl.nu/jiz3
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (407)
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  (310): View more from California

  I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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  (310): I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/rytq
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (329)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.

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  (770): Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else. http://tfl.nu/0so2
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (585)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic

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  (703): I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic http://tfl.nu/p38a
  Replies (8) Good night (256) Bad night (569)

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