Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room http://tfl.nu/mue9
  Replies (53) Good night (4651) Bad night (2584)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives. http://tfl.nu/3y3d
  Replies (9) Good night (1406) Bad night (5227)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin? http://tfl.nu/252o
  Replies (16) Good night (4096) Bad night (2205)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s
  Replies (17) Good night (6324) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard. http://tfl.nu/3369
  Replies (12) Good night (3914) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard http://tfl.nu/lrld
  Replies (9) Good night (1674) Bad night (3208)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken. http://tfl.nu/j72e
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over http://tfl.nu/x0ne
  Replies (4) Good night (2368) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join. http://tfl.nu/8ui9
  Replies (4) Good night (1976) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I respect the size of her balls.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I respect the size of her balls. (1-303): Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else. http://tfl.nu/t5xu
  Replies (15) Good night (893) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy. http://tfl.nu/d7gm
  Replies (3) Good night (574) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult." http://tfl.nu/mdv1
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown http://tfl.nu/kwyi
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it? http://tfl.nu/w0e4
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before. http://tfl.nu/g8nu
  Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (701)

Randomize