i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and she was petting her beer can
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
