Texts From Last Night

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  Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies

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  (+02): Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies http://tfl.nu/80zn
  Replies (15) Good night (2666) Bad night (467)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.

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  (770): Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock. http://tfl.nu/ip50
  Replies (16) Good night (4096) Bad night (736)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."

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  (813): I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit." http://tfl.nu/z2kp
  Replies (64) Good night (7907) Bad night (792)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone

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  (480): You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone http://tfl.nu/wd7b
  Replies (33) Good night (7516) Bad night (822)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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  (304): Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/d61m
  Replies (18) Good night (5290) Bad night (617)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1848) Bad night (5150)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his

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  (251): Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his http://tfl.nu/lwp2
  Replies (26) Good night (1181) Bad night (6734)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.

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  (314): Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault. http://tfl.nu/cvk2
  Replies (3) Good night (2499) Bad night (741)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again

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  (571): you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again http://tfl.nu/ac3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3086) Bad night (1106)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog

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  (646): How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog http://tfl.nu/iwbb
  Replies (5) Good night (669) Bad night (2036)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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  (231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche
  Replies (8) Good night (1693) Bad night (779)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...

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  (803): thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling... http://tfl.nu/yt8z
  Replies (6) Good night (1247) Bad night (441)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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  (206): Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience. http://tfl.nu/kvcy
  Replies (5) Good night (975) Bad night (458)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.

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  (970): Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush. http://tfl.nu/v4yp
  Replies (0) Good night (761) Bad night (294)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.

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  (250): During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high. http://tfl.nu/970w
  Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (298)

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