Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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(917): i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire! http://tfl.nu/yxp7

Replies (12) Good night (4677) Bad night (740)
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(404): View more from Georgia

What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

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(404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you? http://tfl.nu/4jb3

Replies (22) Good night (9418) Bad night (6243)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"

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(778): we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza" http://tfl.nu/yszc

Replies (11) Good night (3857) Bad night (532)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls

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(317): Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls http://tfl.nu/a8qz

Replies (60) Good night (1431) Bad night (6703)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.

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(910): I just made Jack Daniels snow cones. http://tfl.nu/ca8x

Replies (22) Good night (8031) Bad night (1002)
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(773): View more from Illinois

That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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(773): That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper http://tfl.nu/zcg4

Replies (3) Good night (1890) Bad night (720)
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(219): View more from Indiana

about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

(219): View more from Indiana

yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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(219): about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town? (219): yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes? http://tfl.nu/jl45

Replies (5) Good night (2318) Bad night (675)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.

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(973): Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested. http://tfl.nu/rwnz

Replies (1) Good night (1912) Bad night (645)
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(831): View more from California

The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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(831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u

Replies (1) Good night (1700) Bad night (1064)
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(802): View more from Vermont

i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording

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(802): i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording http://tfl.nu/qw8w

Replies (7) Good night (1857) Bad night (535)
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(914): View more from New York

What are you wearing tonight?

(510): View more from California

The colors of the winddddddd

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(914): What are you wearing tonight? (510): The colors of the winddddddd http://tfl.nu/dt24

Replies (7) Good night (3536) Bad night (571)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.

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(443): I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon. http://tfl.nu/atl9

Replies (10) Good night (1972) Bad night (481)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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(616): Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything? http://tfl.nu/t3z5

Replies (23) Good night (2627) Bad night (786)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.

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(304): Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle. http://tfl.nu/n2vr

Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (222)
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(585): View more from New York

You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….

(716): View more from New York

...Then...

(585): View more from New York

Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one

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(585): You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then……. (716): ...Then... (585): Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one http://tfl.nu/7kz2

Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (235)

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