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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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• (310): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (831): View more from California

  It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she sounds like chewbacca in bed

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie

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• (518): View more from New York

  Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds

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