I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
