just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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