Barsexuality is the new black.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
