Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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