This is not my ceiling
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
