Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
