ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
