my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
