This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
