yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
