Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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