Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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