I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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