I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
