I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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