8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
