If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
