I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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