No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
